The word depression scares me. 

Nowadays I feel like sad isn’t enough. 

But depression is too much. 

There isn’t a word that defines this

I hate waking up 

It doesn’t matter if I’m tired 

I had just become content with not existing 

And then I wake up. 

And go have a good day. 

And at night I make sure to go through reasons not to kill myself. 

"You can’t kill yourself until you

travel the world,

graduate college,

talk to her again, 

finish the semester.”

I wouldn’t say I want to kill myself. 

They just make it easier to wake up. 

Whatever it takes to make it in the morning.